I’ve had a shitty day. My previous post should have covered that. I am however going to be watching the Oscars ceremony as it has been a tradition with me for as long as I can remember. We’re getting close to curtain so I decided to fire up this post. What I’m going to do is make my musings and just update the post as the ceremony continues. I’m going to let you know right now, I’m not going to filter myself. So if you are afraid of bad language then I’d say skip this one. Check back regularly or just read it afterward. Either way it should be fun. I needed this today…
– Apparently Jennifer Lawrence fell on the red carpet. Who taught her how to walk?
– Ellen just called Liza Minnelli a man. Shots fired.
– Ellen looks like she’s going to conduct an orchestra.
– Lol, Ellen hasn’t seen a penis in a while.
– Jared Leto wins. We all knew that was going to happen. He deserved it. Bravo.
– Pretty damn good speech from Leto.
– Holy shit, Jim Carrey can make his face into anybody. Great Bruce Dern impression.
– Pharrell Williams stole a couple Oscars and hid them in his hat.
– Katherine Martin wins Best Costume Design for The Great Gatsby. I didn’t see the film. I don’t have much to say.
– Dallas Buyers Club wins best Hair and Make-up. They made Jared Leto look…well, like a transexual Jared Leto.
– HAN SOLO IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.
– MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO KIM NOVAK? OH MY GOD.
– These animated shorts look cool. Mr. Hublot with the win.
– Frozen with the Oscar for animated film. The Wind Rises gets snubbed. It was a gorgeous film.
– Sally Fields always looks like she’s about to cry.
– Gravity wins the first of every single on of the technical awards with Visual Effects.
– Oh man, Ellen is so hit and miss tonight. The writers were a little lazy tonight.
– Lol, Zac Efron can’t read.
– This Tina Fey Amex commercial is funnier than anything Ellen has said tonight save calling Liza Minnelli a man.
– The comedy shtick is getting old Ellen.
– Great documentaries this year. 20 Feet From Stardom gets the steal from The Act of Killing.
– LOL GREATEST SPEECH EVER. EVERYBODY SHOULD SING THEIR SPEECHES.
– Brad Pitt has a douchey haircut.
– I really thought The Hunt was going to get that one. I still need to see The Great Beauty.
– I was really hoping I didn’t have to sit through U2 tonight but alas, I have to.
– “Kristen B. Ell. What?” LOL.
– Who let the local high school AV club produce the show tonight?
– Number two for Gravity with Sound Mixing. Gravity sweeping the tech awards with number three for Sound Editing.
– Here is that epic selfie…
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– Here comes supporting actress…
– Lupita!!! So deserved. Much heartbreak.
– Oh, and the Oscars did a great thing by adding that June Squibb clip. A lot of people are going to watch Nebraska now.
– I’m so tired of this shtick.
– YOU GET A SLICE OF PIZZA. AND YOU GET A SLICE OF PIZZA.
– BILL FUCKING MURRAY.
– Come oooooooooooon Roger Deakins…
– I miss you Harold Ramis.
– DAMMIT. Gravity again. You will get your award Roger Deakins. You will!
– Gravity again. Every damn award.
– Nice singing Pink.
– It is getting very late. They need to start cranking out these damn awards. We still have a memorium, another song, and like six awards to go.
– Damn, Katherine Martin wins another Oscar.
– ANOTHER MOVIE MONTAGE? GIVE OUT THE FUCKING AWARDS.
– This show is taking forever.
– I’m going to fall the fuck asleep.
– Best Score time. Everybody deserves it. Gravity again. Holy shit. It’s a mop up.
– Original Song goes to Frozen. Durrr.
– I swear to God…if they start cue-ing music for the speeches of the major awards…IT’S RUNNING LATE CAUSE OF FUCKING PIZZA AND OLD MOVIE MONTAGES.
– Ahhh, screenplays. John Ridley gets his due for 12 Years a Slave. LET’S GO SPIKE!!!!
– YES!!!!!!!!!!! SPIKE!
– I’m so happy Spike won. He;s one of my favorite people. Finally something awesome happens in the second half of this show.
– Here’s a big award. I’m sure Cuaron is going to get it. He deserves it so much…aaaaaannnnnnd
– CUARON! Congrats man! Well deserved. It was a one of a kind film and the they owed him for snubbing him for Children of Men.
– I knew as soon as I saw Blue Jasmine that Cate was going to win. She was incredible.
– HERE IS THE BIG ONE. LET’S GO LEO.
– THE MAN IS HERE TO STAY. I love the decision. I hoped Leo got it but honestly all five deserved it. Way to go Matthew McConaughey
– He saved that speech about himself when he said “alright, alright alright”.
AND BEST PICTURE GOES TO…
12 YEARS A SLAVE.
DESERVED AS SHIT. I’M GLAD IT WASN’T GRAVITY. I’M GOING TO BED.